Sleepless in Scotland

Insomnia, work angst, and fangirl squee


February 23rd, 2008

Story time! Come sit at my feet and I’ll tell you a story! @ 01:25 pm


So I was reading a whole mess of fic yesterday, and came across a meme that I’m going to viciously steal in an attempt to get back to writing. Because I have a block right now about writing, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell stories, because lord, can I ever. So.

Ask me to tell you a story. Any of my fandoms, crossover, or AU will work, pretty much — like, “Tell me about that time MCR were actually all girls and Frank Iero was the hottest lesbian ever,” or “Tell me about Legolas and Gimli sailing off into the sunset together,” or “Tell me about that time Lee Jordan became Minister of Magic,” which is technically Jezz’s story, but whatever. Hit me!

(Fandoms I’m in/have been in, for reference and in no particular order: Harry Potter, Buffy, Metallica, Guns ‘n Roses, Popslash, My Chemical Romance, Firefly, Lord of the Rings, the new BBC version of Robin Hood, (World of) Warcraft (it is too a fandom, hush), Space: Above and Beyond, assorted comic books, mostly X-Men and Cable&Deadpool, plus some Boostle, new Who, and, um, several I’m probably forgetting. And hell, I can probably tell you a non-fandom story too, if you want. Seriously, hit me!)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

Anna is SO BAD FOR ME! @ 11:26 am

Tags:

Melle: I am having some very random but intense fandom-love. Like, love for fandom at large. I do not know where this came from, but I keep wanting to write it a love letter.
Anna: DO IT!

So, yeah. Blame Canada for this:

Dear Fandom,

Hi, you probably don’t really know me, because I tend to just kind of hover around at your edges most of the time, lurking in the shadows, but after more than ten years, I figured I should actually come out and tell you how much I love you.

You’ve made my life so much better, given me so much — the ability to actually socialise, a ton of friends, language skills, EVERYTHING. I would not be the person I am today without you, so yeah. Thank you!

I hope we get at least another ten years, me in the corner and you doing your awesome thing, with your porn and your smarts and your PEOPLE who are AWESOME and your community and your wank and your LITTLE FACE! :D

I am so looking forward to growing old with you, I can’t even tell you.

Lessthanthree,
Melle

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

February 11th, 2008

If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution … @ 12:10 pm


(Note: I know Emma Goldman didn’t actually say that exactly, but that’s not gonna stop me from using it. I like the sentiment anyway.)

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think I kinda love 4-chan right now. They’ve demonstrated the organising power of the internet, and hopefully will show a whole generation that protesting and activism can be not only fun, but even damn hilarious. (In some cities, they rickrolled the Co$, people! Awesome!)

Some related links:

In conclusion: I don’t agree with everything they do or say, and again, the “fag” slurs make me not want to participate, but the effective use of the internet as an organising and focussing tool for activism? Awesome.

In conclusion:

Oh Fuck, The Internet Is Here

[ETA] Via Cleo: deathboy says:

I can’t remember the source, but there’s some sci-fi story I’ve read where the conclusion reads along the lines of “They could withstand the fiercest of our weapons, they could defeat us intellectually, but in the end, I think they died of sheer culture shock” - the looks on the faces of the scientologists when faced with a crowd in which a lone voice shouts:

“I HEAR TOM CRUISE HATES MUDKIPS!”

(all) “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

… how do you fight that?

How do you, ideologically speaking, defeat a crowd that is enthusiastically demanding that you “DO A BARREL ROLL! DO A BARREL ROLL!!” ?

Which is sort of what I was trying to get at, really. It needs balancing with actually getting one’s message across, but announcing you’re gonna protest for a specific reason will make it clear to the target/audience what they’re there for, and every protest I’ve been to has had its share of cryptic signs — the message still came through. Sure, the rickrolling and the Fresh Prince rap will confuse people, but they’ll be more likely to come and ask if thge protesters are obviously having fun. (And no, I don’t get the Fresh Prince thing either. Huh?) [/ETA]

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

February 5th, 2008

Gerard Way may save your life, but Frank Iero will destroy your sexuality @ 09:14 pm


Frank, Gerard

Dear Frank Iero,

Please cease and desist being a FUCKING HOT LESBIAN, you fucker, and UNHAND MAH GAY!

Distressedly yours,
Melle

(Seriously, that haircut couldn’t be any dykier if it put on a strap-on and fucked your girlfriend. Frank is pretty much my Ideal of Hotness in that picture and I WANT HIM TO STOOOOP! D: )

(Oh great, just when I could’ve really used my “inappropriate lusting” tag, I’ve gone and deleted it.)

(Oh hey, while I’m up, anyone want to point me towards a good starting point for finding Ray Toro and/or Bob Bryar-centric picspam and/or fic?)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

Things on my mind … @ 11:32 am


I should probably find a more constructive outlet for my history geek tendencies, because right now I keep thinking someone ought to make a website or a wiki about the cultural history of the internet and/or fandom so I can go and get all nostalgic about it. Something like this, only more so, and mentioning things like “Remember when Hotmail wasn’t yet owned by Microsoft?” and stuff like that.

… I kinda can’t wait to be old and crab at the Kids These Days about how I remember an internet before LOLCats and say things like “Now, back in the days when YahooGroups was still eGroups, but after OneList …” I have issues, I know.

Read the rest of this entry » )

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

February 3rd, 2008

I can has shower, pls? @ 08:15 pm


My life feels all disorganised and argh. This is, I suspect, in large part because my flat is an unholy mess. I’ve been meaning to clean this weekend, but when I switched on the boiler yesterday, it quickly became apparent that there was something wrong. Normally, even in the coldest dead of winter, it takes an hour, max, to heat the water up to near-boiling. This time? Not so much. Three hours later, it was still tepid at best — warm enough that I can tell it’s doing something, too cold to take a shower with or do the dishes. And so i should call my landlady, except I need to clean first, before she comes out, because I can’t let her see the flat like this. O HELLO CATCH-22! *headdesk*

(Okay, I’ve been clearing up at least, and dusting and stuff, and will do the dishes by boiling water in the kettle, but it’s gonna take a while, and I’ve not been able to take a shower in two days now. I normally shower twice a day, so now I feel icky like whoa.)

In happier news, Gerard Way needs to be my secret gay boyfriend. (Starting at the 0:57 mark.) No, seriously. (Around the 1:50 mark especially.)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

February 2nd, 2008

February 1st, 2008

Well it’s late in the evening, and the music’s seeping through … @ 01:59 am


Small housekeeping note: I’m no longer posting writing-related posts to mounthelicon, nor crafts-related posts to craftybrain, because I want to uniformise (shaddup, it is too a word) the “mirrors” at all four (… for now, until GJ goes down completely) LJ-clones.

Neil Gaiman is made of awesome:

When I’m not writing the novel I feel guilty. And even though blogworthy things turn up (I could write about the thaw right now, and the sunshine and the bees; three days ago a really funny entry on what to do when your assistant hands you twenty pounds of whole and uncut cow liver for your dog that she was given at the local meat packing plant didn’t get written, and yesterday I composed an entire thing in my head I didn’t write down about Why The People in Torchwood Season One Are All Too Stupid To Live — including the astonishingly puzzling incident where someone in 1941 has written something down on paper with black ink (a medium that will last legibly for centuries if kept out of the sun), and, unaccountably worried that ink on paper will fade and become unreadable in time, first she takes a prototype Polaroid photo of it, and then writes some of it in blood and puts it in a coffee can in a damp cellar, because these media will still be readable seventy years later. Why she didn’t make a model of it out of chocolate as well, I will never know.)

Dear Mr Gaiman: Please be my BFF and come for a sleepover with Anna and I? We’ll paint our toenails and braid each other’s hair and talk about boys! It’ll be ace!

In unrelated news, I should stop looking at baby!Metallica (and baby!GnR) pictures. I have ceased believing these people were born male. I sorry, but there’s long hair, and then there’s Farrah Fawcett hair, and baby!Lars has the latter. Also, I now have a theory that Axl Rose was raised in some weird-ass commune that shunned trousers, or something, and wasn’t introduced to the very concept of them until 1992 at least. (Thong-and-chaps, kilts, tight shorts, tights-and-red-patent-leather-codpiece — anything but trousers, apparently!)

(”Why were you looking at these pictures in the first place?” I’m having a fandom relapse, okay, shaddup. DUN JUDGE MEEE!)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 30th, 2008

links for 2008-01-30 @ 08:29 pm


Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 14th, 2008

I can has SixtiesRetro nao? @ 03:35 pm


My internet is being patchy, so I spent most of the weekend watching TV. I now remember why I don’t usually watch much TV. Gah.

(I was also reminded of how much I want fashion to go on a Sixties retro kick so I can rock outfits like this . I have legs to show off here, and I bloody well can’t do it in what passes for a miniskirt these days!)

So, uh, yeah, still playing catch-up on blogs and friendslists, but I will get there! I promise!

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 9th, 2008

This is your brain. This is your brain on irregular sleeping patterns. Any questions? @ 12:32 pm


I went back to skip=100 and gave up — if I’ve missed anything important, smack me. (Haven’t been well since Saturday. Blech. Feeling mostly better now, though.)

I’m trying to get (back) into writing more … well, if not serious, then at least coherent stuff, and as part of that, I’m trying to post something at Feminists Don’t Bake Bread every Tuesday. Yesterday’s was actually posted early this morning, but here you go: The Cost Of Femininity.

I’m thinking of re-integrating my writing and craft journals into my main LJ. Hrm.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 4th, 2008

(no subject) @ 02:16 pm


So last Saturday, my last day in Belgium*, my mum informed me that I should “have a look through that one shelf of books” because anything I didn’t explicitly select for keeping was going to go. My brother and I went D: at her, because while neither of us care much for material possessions, we both have this sense that throwing away, or even giving away, books is Just Plain Wrong. I then went D: some more when i realised that what was on this shelf were a whole lot of children’s books.

“But. You can’t,” I said, aghast. “You can’t get rid of any of them.”

“Most of them are falling apart, or they’re stupid commercial series we never got more than half a dozen of,” she pointed out. “And there simply isn’t enough room for all these books.”

I conceded, because she did have point. The first thing one sees when one enters the house is a room full of books. It used to be the shop, long ago, and 70-80% of the walls are taken up by bookshelves, floor to ceiling. There’s more bookshelves on the upstairs landing, and a whole lot of books in boxes still. Some of these were inherited; there’s a whole shelf of truly magnificently old books that came from great-uncles on either side of the family, and most of the boxes came from my late uncle — and that’s with the majority of his books stashed at my gran’s, and with my paternal grandparents’s books mostly at my dad’s, and if you’re getting the impression that my family has book-loving genes, you’re absolutely correct**.

So I went through the books. Some of them were easy enough to part with, like the Disney books for kiddies and similar things. Some broke my heart, but I was strong and parted with them anyway — these included a bunch of books for very young kids, which I had fond memories of but which, really, there’s a gazillion of these kinds of “Up/Under” books. Some I had to admit really were too beaten up to keep, although I still put some of those apart and made my brother decide on them, because I like making others make the hard decisions for me.

But there were some that I just couldn’t part with, because there is just no way I could ever find them again for less than an arm and a leg, and I’d want to read them to my future nieces and nephews. (The wonderful children’s books by Jac Linders, with illustrations by Lie, for example, which are so very Seventies and yet so very fabulous and yeah.) Still, I think I saved about half a dozen, and left about the same number for my brother to decide on, and I know it was necessary and for the best but I’m still sad about the ones that had to go.

Books: They’ll break your heart. :(

* My mother’s habit of asking things at the last damn minute, often when people are about to walk out the door, is a frequent source of frustration for the rest of us. This, at least, was a relatively mild example. Sigh.
** When my paternal grandparents died six months apart, a few years back, it took nine (sets of) children(-in-law) plus a handful of grandkids several weeks to clear out the house, mostly of books. There were books in every room, often stacked along the walls for lack of shelves to put them on, and keep in mind that this house had a room for each of the nine kids, at least one spare bedroom, a master bedroom, an office, and an attic, and there were still books stashed in various other places downstairs. If I ever get a house, this is how I will end up. I have seen my future, and it is books.


In more cheerful news, my Ravelry invite came! I can now be find there as femgeek, for those of you who’re also there. (For those of you who aren’t, and have no idea what this is about, please ignore the yarn geek in the corner. Ahem.)


I’m trying to keep riding this wave of determinedly-doing-stuff I have going and, now that my flat is largely clean and my website is revamped, and my flist is reorganised and culled, the next thing on my Internet To Do List is to cull and reorganise my bookmarks. I’m removing comics I don’t really read anymore, and blogs/websites that do nothing but annoy me anymore. This is where you come in.

This is your chance to pimp links at me, although I’m going to be slightly picky.

Comics:

  • Gaming comics preferred, especially WoW-related ones.
  • Alternatively, amusingly recognisable comics about Tech Support and/or call centres.
  • Alternatively alternatively, historical stuff, boytouchig a bonus.
  • I’m … not overly fond of a lot of anime-style drawings.

Blogs:

  • I’m especially looking for feminist and feministy blogs, but also knitting/crafts blogs, or anything else interesting.
  • Of the feminist stuff, I’d prefer WoC, older (”") women, disabled women, and (gender)queer/trans blogs.
  • No radfems. I’m serious. (Too much exposure to the transphobia in radfem circles this past year, can’t stomach it at all anymore, even for posts I might have liked or even loved, sorry.)

Other:

  • Oh, hell. Hit me. :D
  • Oh, wait, any website with good info about he Renaissance and/or the history of knitting would especially be welcome.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 2nd, 2008

(no subject) @ 01:53 pm


The thing about DMs is, because they last so damn long, some time between new pairs, I always forgot how painful it is to break in a new pair. Owie. :(

Work is busy. I’m nevertheless busy playing pretty flash-based games. My favourites are Winterbells (current high score: 2,845,220) and Bubble Bees (Current high score: 9,000-odd). Warning: do not click on that link if you don’t have at least an hour to lose.

Meme time! From Munchkinott:

  • Leave me a casual comment of no particular significance, like a lyric to your current favorite song, your favorite kind of sandwich, or maybe your favorite game. Any remark, meaningless or not.
  • I will respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
  • Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
  • Include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in your own post.
  • When others respond with a desultory comment, you will ask them five questions.

Answers behind the cut.

Read the rest of this entry » )

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

January 1st, 2008

Shoul Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot @ 03:45 am


Happy New Year’s! Mags got me dunk. Or at least her party did. I’m going to be so emarassed in the morning. And missing my tupperware. Um. I mean. HI! :D

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 31st, 2007

A Good Day To Die / We Are Robin Hood @ 12:16 am


Robin Hood double length finale intant reactions — spoilers behind the cut. Warning: Incoherent rambling ahead.

Read the rest of this entry » )

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 30th, 2007

Is it can be sleepy time nao? @ 04:20 pm


Am home safe, despite Belgium’s apparent efforts to kill me dead. More details later, after I’ve unpacked, cleaned, watched Robin Hood and taken a bath.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 23rd, 2007

Gone Fishin’ @ 07:13 am


I’m about to leave for the airport to catch my flight to Belgium. I’ll be back in Edinburgh next Sunday.

If I owe you e-mail or comments, I’ll try and get to them from there, but I may be scarce for the next week. I’ll probably get online a few times, but I may well be incommunicado if only because I can’t type on Belgian keyboards anymore.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 21st, 2007

I HAS A HAT! @ 11:12 am


E dropped by yesterday to give me presents, because she rocks. I got Lush (bweee!), and an Official Robin Hood Electronic Recurve BowTM (bweeehehehehe my co-workers won’t know what hit them :D), and the Best! Hat! Ever!

I has a hat!     I has a hat!

… Please ignore the fact that I look demented in that second picture. *cough* Also, State of the Hair, six months and two days after shaving:

I has hair!

Also, a not-that-small gripe brought on by surfing YouTube for Dubliners vids:

Dear YouTubers,

Carrickfergus is not, in fact, a song originally written by Charlotte Church. No, really.

Twitchingly yours,
Melle

Link from Anna: Sock It To Me: Competitive Knitters Get Deadly Serious. I want in! :D

More Serious Link, also from Anna: Lakota group secedes from U.S. Oh my god. I can’t wait to see the official US government reaction to this. O_O

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 20th, 2007

Aaand we’re live! @ 10:31 am


Independent Soul: now with 75% more CMS! :D

I’ve made a CMS for my stories and one for the quotes, which will hopefully make it a bit easier to update those, at least, and a gallery so I can keep all of my photos and stuff together instead of trying to remember if I put a certain photo on my LJ gallery, my Flickr account, or my /random folder.

And, of course, happy birthday to me. :D

This is the time of year I usually get all thinky and stuff, and this year is no different. I’ve made a bunch of plans and resolutions for the coming year, and this time, I think I will actually keep them.

Resolutions, in order of how hard you’re all allowed to smack me if I fail.

  1. Get a new job by May. I’m setting myself a deadline because it’ll be the only way to stick to this.
  2. Get serious about freelancing as a webdesigner.
  3. Do not start smoking again.
  4. Crossdress when I feel like going into boymode, and let anyone who thinks it’s weird or stupid hang.
  5. Draft a budget and stick to it for at least three months in a row.

I figure, if I stick to only five of them, that should be manageable. A theoretical sixth is “Write moar,” but like I said, realistic. I’ll try, of course, but I’m not setting myself any goals anymore. :/

(On the subject of #4, my birthday/Christmas present to myself this year is going to be a compression vest/shirt. Possibly one of these — they’re in the US, but I’ve heard good things about Underworks.)

Plans for today: go out to buy Christmas presents for the fam and Lush stuff for me, come home, have a long hot bath. Mmmm. :)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 17th, 2007

(no subject) @ 10:25 pm

Tags:

Another test …

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 
 

(no subject) @ 10:11 pm


Dear internet: Please don't conk out on me like that, it scares me. O_O

If you were paying attention earlier, you may have noticed that I got the LJXP thing working for multiple journals. Oh, yes. It works, bitches. ("What?") ALL TECH WILL FEAR ME AND DESPAIR! \o/ Anyone else want the scripts, let me know. :D

... Why is Richard Mately being really catty on HIGNFY? o_O

 

December 16th, 2007

(no subject) @ 02:16 pm

Now feeling: frustrated
Now dancing to: The Sex Pistols - Twelve Days of Christmas

*whacks things with sticks* Okay, So. I'm trying to convince LJ-Archive to export my entries, with comments, to XML so I can upload them to my on-site blog. It does this without complaint for [info]mounthelicon and [info]craftybrain, and will happily do so for [info]bubosquared without comments, but trying to export [info]bubosquared with comments makes it crash on July 2002. Now, granted, this is seven years worth of entries, plus comments, so maybe it's just choking on the sheer volume, but it keeps crashing on the same month, which makes me think it's something specific in that month that's causing the problem. Anyone have any ideas?

Error/crash message. )

 

December 14th, 2007

Rarely has this icon been so appropriate @ 05:33 am

Now feeling: accomplished

I have no idea why the fuck I'm awake at this hour of the morning, but I've used my time productively, at least. "Story Management System": done, up, and working. \o/

Next up: image gallery software. Preferably one that doesn't take up 80 freakin' MB. And will let me play with the layout. *grabs stick, goes hunting*

[ETA] Anyone have any ideas on what to call a freelance webdesign business> [info]dantesvendetta suggested Minerva (or Athena) Webdesign on Wednesday, but a quick google tells me someone got there first, woe. :( [/ETA]

 

December 10th, 2007

(no subject) @ 12:18 pm

Now feeling: aggravated

Today's plans: try and write own code for story-management system. Also, porn. *cracks knuckles*

... You'll note that it's now noon and I've yet to do either, by the way. Stupid customers. Gah.

 

November 17th, 2007

(no subject) @ 07:54 pm

Now feeling: Gay!

And in this week's Robin Hood: MORE gay! )

 

November 6th, 2007

(no subject) @ 11:02 pm

Now feeling: accomplished
Now dancing to: Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven

My NaNo procastination, let me show you it ...

(What? At least it's nominally productive, and it's something for my portfolio, if nothing else.)

 

November 5th, 2007

Randomness in bullet form ... @ 06:22 pm

  1. The HP Lexicon wankerage is SO ENTERTAINING people! (If you donj't know, don't ask unless you really want to know. Warning: the management is not responsible for any unboggling your brain may need. Mine is still stuck in boggled from Friday.
  2. I spent half the weekend getting increasingly desperate that I'd lost my silver crucifix. Could not find it, and when I checked the Lost and Found at work this morning as a last ditch attempt, I nearly broke down when it wasn't there. I just caught a glint out of the corner of my eye while changing, and there it was, hidden and wedged between the floorboards in my bedroom. Words cannot express my relief.
  3. I had a third point, but I've lost it again. DAMMIT!
 

September 19th, 2007

(no subject) @ 04:10 pm

Now feeling: blank
Now dancing to: Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Chain Gang

In other news, happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Now, go watch this. No, seriously, go watch it, it's brilliant. Warning: may make you feel old, even if only in internet years.

 

September 15th, 2007

Pimpage @ 10:56 pm

Now feeling: satisfied
Now dancing to: Ladysmith Black Mambazo - Chain Gang

Anna (</a></b></a>[info]troubleinchina) has been doing Friday Discussion Posts for a while now, inviting discussion on feministic (hush, it's a word) issues, and I think this week's is an especially interesting one: You must be this thin: >< to perform (But if you are there's something wrong with you).

For once, I n ot only managed to comment, but I actually managed to be coherent enough that I want to save the comment for my own reference. Go to Anna's post to read, or read here, or whatever.

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<p>Anna (<span class="ljuser" lj:user="troubleinchina" style="white-space: nowrap;"><a href="http://troubleinchina.livejournal.com/profile?style=mine"><img class="ContextualPopup" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="" style="border: 0pt none ; vertical-align: bottom; padding-right: 2px;" height="17" width="17"></a><a href="http://troubleinchina.livejournal.com/?style=mine"><b>troubleinchina</b></a></span>) has been doing <a href="http://troubleinchina.livejournal.com/tag/friday+thoughts?style=mine">Friday Discussion Posts</a> for a while now, inviting discussion on feministic (hush, it's a word) issues, and I think this week's is an especially interesting one: <a href="http://troubleinchina.livejournal.com/219274.html?style=mine">You must be this thin: &gt;&lt; to perform (But if you are there's something wrong with you)</a>.</p> <p>For once, I n ot only managed to comment, but I actually managed to be coherent enough that I want to save the comment for my own reference. Go to Anna's post to read, or read here, or whatever.</p> <p><a name="lj-cut text="It's about the fact that women shouldn't take up space. ">Anna said: <em>It's not about what you, I, or any other particular individual finds attractive or appealing.</em></p> <p>I think this is actually the crux of the issue, in a way. The problem with discussions about the Beauty Ideal is that they still usually hinge on the assumption that the Beauty Ideal is about what is attractive -- specifically, what is attractive to men. And it's not. Men find a range of women attractive, IME, and more importantly, contrary to what the media and the patriarchy tell us, they're not actually so shallow that they'll refuse to even look at women who might not quite meet their ideal, or even be the opposite of said ideal.</p> <p>The Beauty Ideal isn't about Beauty, it's about size. It's about the fact that women shouldn't take up space. Not physical space, so any woman who isn't starving herself to achieve that mythical status of "thin enough" (and there's a reason why the threshold for "fat" is so unrealistically low!) is obviously a whale -- and to a lesser extent, there's the weirdness around tall women, as well, here. Not mental space, so any woman who is naturally "thin enough" get shamed about it, because it doesn't "count" if you don't have to starve yourself for it, that's just bragging, you cheater. And whatever you do, don't ever get an attitude, don't walk around like you deserve to take up the space you do, because then you're a horrible bitch.</p> <p>And it's not just the pure size thing, either. Lose weight through starvation diets, or diet and exercise, but that exercise should be things like running, or spinning, or whatever, because god forbid you gain ugly muscles -- god forbid you get strong instead of just thin. Strength means bulking up, taking up space, and that makes you double scary.</p> <p>It's ... *flail* I don't know if I'm making much sense here, or if I'm chasing a rabbit down a hole, because it's hard to cohere a number of seemingly unrelated incidents and epiphanies into something that will make sense to others who haven't had those experiences.</p> <p>Like: the first time I crossdressed, my friend said something that's stuck with me ever since: that 90% of "passing" as a man is attitude. "Walk like you own the place," he said. "Like it's your right to be walking on the sidewalk. Take up space." And suddenly, I realised why, exactly, people always tell me I "walk like a man": because I walk in the world as if I have a right to exist in it, and that's not expected of a woman.</p> <p>Like: The furious looks I've been shot by men I've sat next to on the bus, simply because I claimed my rightful half of the leg space and didn't just let them do the "the boys need room" thing.</p> <p>Like: The frustration of wanting to share with people how annoyed I was at my body's random betrayal a few winters ago, and being told I was lucky for losing a stone (a full tenth of what had been my stable weight for the previous eight years), and who cared if it was through the Winter Depression And Malnutrition Diet?</p> <p>Like: Having very few people to talk to about body imagery, because my fears run the other way, and no one understands my fear of weight loss. (I don't want to disappear!)</p> <p>I could come up with a bunch of other examples, all of which contributed to how I look at body politics, and it's hard to explain sometimes without giving those examples, without the context of my life, so maybe including them will help people understand?</p> <p>Because as long as conversations about the Beauty Ideal keep centering around the idea that it is, in fact, about Beauty, we'll keep pitting allies against each other. Anyone not conforming to the Beauty Ideal will sneer at those that do, whether by starvation of genetics, the "average-sized" women will get insulted about what passes for fat these days, and large women will talk about how hard it is to lose the yoyo-diet weight, and/or about how they're healthy despite their BMI, and so on and so forth. Not that any of the above aren't true, obviously, and I've contributed to most of those rants myself, but in the end, what we're actually fighting there is straw men of each other.<lj-cut></p>
 

December 30th, 2006

(no subject) @ 12:55 am


Random stuff in bullet point shape:

  • Saw Eragon yesterday. Verdict: crap, but slashy, pretty-looking crap. I kinda wanna read the books now, but mostly I wanna read slash. *pokes the internet
  • Yuletide is yielding lots of goodies this year, including Asimov slash in a pairing I've been wanting for years, and wheeee!
  • Yuletide also, as usual, is making me want to write slashy non-fanfic fantasy. I dunno how that works, either, but I have images in my head of underwater cities, and cities high in the mountains, and yes.
  • I had more bulletpoints, but they've escaped me. Maybe I should go to bed.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 25th, 2006

(no subject) @ 11:54 pm


I still have six minutes left for this, darnit!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

(no subject) @ 03:21 am


Apologies to anyone who tried to call me tonight, but I forgot to bring the transfer thingie to be able to charge my phone here — d'oh!

[info]dantesvendetta, </lj>[info]troubleinchina, I love your presents! So much hart!</lj>

Oh, and I didn't got to midnight mass this year, and managed to stab myself in the finger with a fondue fork. The two may or may not be related, I don't know. Stupid vengeful god.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 23rd, 2006

(no subject) @ 04:15 pm


Brothers with laptops can be very handy sometimes. Even if said laptops do have azerty keyboards. Grar. Am currently trying to install WoW onto my iPod-as-a-hard-disk. Let's see how that goes …

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 22nd, 2006

Im in ur airport, delaying ur flight! @ 11:31 am


Only by ten minutes, but still. Sigh.

Entertain me?< \p>

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

(no subject) @ 07:28 am


My flat is clean, my stuff is packed, my hair is done, everything but the computer is switched off, and I finally had the brainstorm to, rather than burn the WoW install files to CD, which would have taken several CDs, simply transfer them to my iPod. (I'm smart! S-M-R-T!) I have the printout of my flight confirmation, and my passport, and I just need to stuff the chargers for my iPod and phone into my suitcase and put on my shoes, and then I'm ready.

I think. I always worry I'm forgetting something, dammit.

so sleepy. too old for pulling all-nighters anymore. zzz?

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 20th, 2006

(no subject) @ 05:15 pm


Happy Birfay to MEEEEEE! *twirls*

Today, I slept in, had lunch with Anna, and then went shopping for Christmas present for my family and a “Happy Brthday and also go me for not buying a snarky Christmas present for my mum*” present for me. I now own a pair of knee-high fuck-me boots, woohoo! *strut*

Now I just need to learn to walk in them without sounding all clompy or falling over.

* I was looking at the wee stocking-filler box things that have, like, zen garden in a box, or tarot cards, or stuff like that, and one of them was a “Therapist In A Box”. I resisted, but only just.

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 19th, 2006

(no subject) @ 02:42 am


I have nothing of substance to say, so here, have some random magnetic prose. (It was a birthday present from [info]intemporaliter, who totally rocks. :D)</lj>


Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 18th, 2006

(no subject) @ 01:29 pm


Mutter grumble stupid tension headache go away dammit grumble.

[Unknown LJ tag]</lj>

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 17th, 2006

(no subject) @ 02:34 am


HI I AM VERRY DRUNK HELLO *falls over*

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Oh god, help me Spock. Amsppdrunk

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 15th, 2006

(no subject) @ 07:06 pm


Slight change of plans: local people will get their presents later, because I just got back from getting party supplies and if I have it my way, I am not venturing outside again until Monday for love or money. *sits*

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 14th, 2006

(no subject) @ 01:40 pm


And then I lost my electricity card. *facepalm* Thankfully, the nice lady at Powergen sent me out a new one and gave me a number I can give the shop to use instead of the card, so I can actually buy electricity vouchers and not be in the freakin' dark and shit.

[Unknown LJ tag]Revised To Do List:</lj>

  • Get Christmas presents for everybody; (Planned for tomorrow, because it's a great idea to brave the Friday throngs. Er. Or maybe I'll go today …)
  • Write Christmas cards; (Just need address-labelling, w00t!)
  • Mail cards and presents that need mailing; (Planned for tomorrow/Saturday, once I have the presents and get them wrapped up.)
  • Give presents to local people so they can open them on Christmas Eve; (Mostly at my birthday thing on Saturday, need to e-mail other people to arrange to meet up some time next week.)
  • Clean, put up Christmas tree and decorations, etc.; (Christmas tree is up, but not decoratet; that'll happen tonight.)
  • Join a gym;
  • Get hair done properly, either by a pro or by a friend, and dye it some funky colour;
  • Finish, or at the very least continue, the Jayne!Wingfic;
  • Burn WoW US to CD so I can play from my mum's house and avoid going bugfuck insane;
  • Get my yearly physical checkup done, or at least booked;
  • Update my Google Calendar so I can keep track of things like I should;
  • [This space left blank to add the gazzilion things I'm forgetting at the moment.]

I am so totally productive. Yay me?

Also, from [info]dantesvendetta:</lj>

Batman is blatantly in league with the Russians: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6177531.stm .Scroll down and look at the logo on the floor of the new intelligence building. Which may explain how they killed off that spy dude.

(Also via Mags: WANTS IT PRECIOUS!)

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

December 13th, 2006

Bastards. Utter Bastarding Bastards. @ 01:33 pm


The beatings are continuing until until morale continues. Except now they've taken me off tech support, which brings down my call volume a little, but adds to the stress because hey, I'm back to all P&G all the time, never mind that I explicitly said I didn't want that because TS keeps me sane right now and it's the fucktardiness of P&G that's causing me stress.

This seems like a good place to post this, created by my co-worker. (Picture and entry both locked for obvious reasons.

The Blind Leading the Blind

Crossposted from Sleepless in Scotland. Comment here or there.

 

Sleepless in Scotland

Insomnia, work angst, and fangirl squee